Speak for yourself

No really, please speak for yourself.

This sign welcomed bikers and apparently it spoke for all of us (us being those who work at Walton Arts Center). Oh, okay, I’m a curmudgeon. Bikes Blues and BBQ isn’t all that bad. It’s great for people watching, for ear drum busting roars of the motorcycles as they pass by, and apparently, this year it’s good for helicopter tours that last all day. The best part was when the guy escaped from the Washington County Courthouse into the crowds of bikers yesterday right before they sentenced him to 55 years in jail. Yup – he did something so bad that they were going to lock him up for 55 years, but instead he’s hanging out just a few blocks away eating BBQ and riding a motorcycle. Ah, it makes you feel all warm and squishy inside.

I have enjoyed the fair food (polish sausage with grilled onions and a funnel cake made up my dinner tonight). It’s not all that bad.

On an entirely different note, I find it interesting that my siblings and I have all started really missing my mom at about the same time. I emailed them about her yesterday and it turns out, I was not alone in feeling very sad about mom being gone yesterday. We all mourned her loss, cried about it, hugged about it, and cried some more about it when she left us. However, mourning a loss and actually missing someone are two different things. I’m at the point now where I just wish she’d come home. I wish she’d quit ignoring the phone calls and pick up the phone to talk. I wish I quit missing her when I go for a visit. However, I know that’s not the case. I know she’s never going to be out digging in her garden when I go visit, I know she’s never going to answer with her signature, very happy, “hello” when I dial her number, I know she’s not going to agree with me when I’m complaining about something that happened during the day, and I know none of these things will ever happen again.

Aside from crying when I had to take her last kitty to a friends house (thankfully it was a friends house and not a shelter), I had been tear free for a couple of weeks. This week was not one of them. This week I really, really miss my mom.

Okay – sorry about that. How about something on a lighter note? Hmmm… I’ll be hawking my handspun yarn at the Fayetteville Farmer’s Market in the morning so if you’re local, you know where to find me.

8 thoughts on “Speak for yourself

  1. Hugs to you… I'm so sorry you're having a hard week missing your mom. I was about your age when my mom died, and even though the things your mom used to do will never happen again, they are part of you now, and they always will be.As time has gone by, that has become a comfort for me instead of a hurt… like having a secret cup of hot chocolate inside of myself for whenever I need it.I know it's real hard right now, though.much love,-amanda

  2. No Sunday market for me – I work all week for my day job, so Saturday morning is the best I can do 🙂 I hope to be at the market next Saturday though.

  3. I hear you on working too much! Hope to see you out there sometime before the season's over.

  4. That actually sounds like a lot of fun to me. A biker party with an escaped convict? Sign me up!

  5. it was funny sometimes when I would call mom and she she would say that "HE-llo" and I would say it back and sound just like her. Not on purpose… just the way I said it was the same. It's hard to think about having Griffin's b-day party this weekend without her.

  6. Sweetie, I know this doesn't even come close to compare, but I still think about Marley every day, and I still miss him dearly.I can't even imagine how you must feel being there for your mom all that time, and now she is gone.Chin up miss, cry when you feel like crying, and laugh when you feel like crying, and smile when you feel like crying, and cry when you feel like crying.With time, all things get easier.♥Many hugs for you my friend. I wish I could be there to really give you a big fat hug.:)

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