It’s funny, I have 5 draft posts.
5 masterpieces all sitting unpublished.
5 well crafted write ups of my thoughts during this strange time.
5 super depressing, very unlike me, narratives that I don’t dare post.
Not now.
Not ever.
So maybe it’s less funny and more sad?
I love writing. I love coming up with something clever to say, even if about a darker subject. Sometimes the clever doesn’t come from an uplifting situation, but a real, raw and vulnerable situation. However, I always try to make sure what I’m posting is healing in some way.
Those 5 posts weren’t. They have great titles, nice, catchy nuggets to get the reader to stay engaged long enough to get through the post. But the content isn’t rich. It complains to the reader, vents, chews – none of these things are how I want to come across but it keeps coming out of my fingers and into these draft posts, destined to be forgotten years from now.
However, I’ll keep them in my drafts. I think they are extremely reflective of the current affairs and a good mirror to my day. I’ll do something (hopefully a few somethings) that get my spirits up. So much so that I tell myself that it’s a good time to write about it. By the time I get around to blogging, I’ve slipped down the backside of that high. What I wanted to write about is still there, but it’s clouded by hours of failed job searches, endless browsing on LinkedIn for a nugget of hope, or by continuous rain storms making a daily walk soggy. I’m left less interested in celebrating and more interested in… well… nothing.
Full disclosure – I almost abandoned this post 6 minutes ago but I put on some big girl pants and here I am!
Why am I having trouble writing about the good things right now? It almost feels fake to do so right now. I’m not sure why because there are good things happening right now.
- I’ve interviewed for 3 different jobs since COVID-19 started. All three are great opportunities and I’m hopeful I’m a great fit for one of the companies.
- I’ve completely organized my pantry and freezer.
- I’ve started walking long distances again (almost 4 miles on Friday and 3.6 on Sunday… then the rains returned, but I’ll get back at it).
- I’ve re-opened my Etsy shop AND sold some yarn.
- I’ve evaluated our budget and debts and we have a plan to be credit card debt free by… oh hey there, I can’t share a date, that’s personal.
- I’ve spruced up my LinkedIn account to something I’m proud of.
So not all is lost. The days are growing brighter as the country starts to open back up (hopefully not to soon, although we all seem to have mixed emotions about that). I’m looking forward to getting out, doing, seeing, experiencing, and loving where I live once again.
Soon!
IdyllHands 